Creating In You A More Beautiful Soul

All too often, we can take hold of a faulty but understandable belief that our emotions, what we feel, are the things that control us, how we react, and the choices we make in the world.

But in reality, God has given us the power to rise above our emotions. We might not feel thankful but we can choose to give thanks; we might not feel love but we can choose to be loving; we might not feel happy but we can choose to be joyful.

Learning to work out the muscle of making the choice to act in the way that God has called us even when we don't feel it will not only bring life to the ones around us, but will also help beautify our own souls. We no longer have to be slaves to circumstances or difficulties but can live in truth and freedom no matter what life brings us.

Tea Time Tuesday: Why Does Submission Matter?

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Family Way #4: “We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.”

Memory verse: “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

My son, Nathan, is one of my best friends, a hero to me. He understands me. When we are together, we savor alone time just to be friends. Walking in Oxford together shaped warm memories.

When Nathan was a little boy, he often related to life through all the stories he carried in his heart.

Nathan loved the story of the Black Stallion — a stunning, wild, untamed, powerful, jet-black horse that eventually became one of the fastest horses alive, or so the story goes!

When Nathan was a little boy and I would have to discipline him, I would explain, “Nathan, a great race horse like the Black Stallion had such potential to win a blue ribbon in races against all of the horses in the world. But until this strong, wild horse learned to submit to the reins of the jockey, it was just a wild horse with potential. To be able to run the race, he had to submit himself to the direction of the master, and accept the reins. Nate, you are like that great wild stallion — so much potential to be a champion, so strong — but you have got to learn to accept the reins of our discipline so that you can run your race in life like a champion!”


Cuddled up on the couch, squished together in rapt attention, there were teachable moments as my children would look with wide eyes and open hearts when I would read them tales of conquerors and heroes — those who gave the strength of their lives to bettering or redeeming the world. Oh, how they loved great stories! And when their little imaginations were captured with those stories, I would seize the moment and say,

“To become a world class champion requires struggle, discipline, commitment and the will to submit to the process of developing greatness, and I believe that God has created each one of you to be a champion for His kindgom in your lifetime. I wonder how you are going to be used by God to change your world for the better? Maybe one of you will be a great writer like C.S.Lewis, or a great composer like Handel when he wrote the Messiah! Or a war hero, or a missionary, or doctor — there are no limitations to what God can do through normal people who submit to His training and live by the power of His spirit inside of us!”

Discussions of bravery, sacrifice, honor, submission to life lessons would ensue and these were the moments when the souls of my children were formed.

“What do you think it costs to become a great soldier?” I would ask.

“What if you were called to be a great writer — what kind of discipline would that take?”

“What if God wanted you to write great music that would encourage and comfort people all over the world? How would you become the best?”

And so on — capturing their imaginations with the principles of discipline was a part of inspiring them to submit to our discipline, training and instruction.

Of course, much of training is repetition, over and over and over and talking all along the way.

Yet, reaching the heart with training is as much inspiration as it is training. Both are necessary — training in truth and wisdom, practicing submitting to that training — but knowing that with the submission comes a reward.

God does not arbitrarily issue us commandments to be hard on us. His commandments, which must be obeyed, are for our best — to protect us, to bless us, to cause us happiness and to help us become the best we can be.

Understanding that bravery, heroism, greatness — a champion made comes from submitting to training and to discipline, is a truth that will allow all children and all adults to be teachable and trainable to greatness.

It seemed we had to learn to use this “way” often in the discipline and training of our children: “Our goal is for you to learn to obey. When you learn to obey mom and dad, you will practice becoming a trained child so that you will be able to hear God's voice and be able to obey Him.”

If obedience is secured only through force, instead of securing the heart — and the imagination of the heart — then the obedience will only take place when force is exerted. Many wonderful children have entered the world to find it a place of great temptation and allure. There are no guarantees of what choices our children will make or what their path will be.

However, I think for our own children, having a vision of why they needed to submit — to understand that choosing to obey shaped their own ability to become strong inside in order to become someone morally strong and powerful to bring righteousness into the world — greatly enhanced their desire to actually do the submitting.

The goal of our training in asking our children to submit to discipline and to listen to our correction, wasn’t just the behavior secured, but it was to help our children develop a responsive and teachable heart, so that they would choose to bow their knee to God’s ways, when we were with them and when they were alone.

They developed their own internal sense of wanting to become disciplined, trained adults who could pursue ideals of excellence for their Lord, because the motivation of their hearts had been secured.

And so we told many stories of soldiers, athletes, missionaries, leaders of every kind, other heroes in scripture like Daniel. We explained that discipline and submission was the pathway to strength and character and we were their best cheerleaders as we trained, corrected and encouraged them toward the vision of owning their lives to become someone who would have a great contribution to make in their world.

How are you painting a vision for the person they will become when they learn to “take the reins?”

Metaphors That Will Inspire for Life

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers.”

-Psalm 1:3

When I held each of my babies in my arms and cuddled them upon their birth, I was not anticipating years ahead when they would enter their adult worlds. I actually didn’t think then about, “I wonder what they will be when they grow up!”

Today I am so excited to have Joy, my own sweet girl, on my podcast to talk about so many fun and wonderful things. Joy is doing a post doc at King’s College in London, she teaches, she edits for a wonderful magazine, writes books and of course makes a mean cup of tea. Most of all, though, I stand amazed at her life, her thoughts, her work, her generous love for so many in her life.

Joy is releasing another book soon called, You Are A Tree: And Other Metaphors To Nourish Thought and Prayer.

I am so very excited about this book! In the same way that we expose ourselves and children to great stories to shape our moral imagination, so Jesus used so many metaphors in scripture to give us a personal picture of what He is like.

This is a perfect way for children to store up images about Christ that He created to be a picture to us of how He wants to relate to us. he wants us to know Him — personally and to understand what He is like. If you begin to share these images and discuss them with your children, they will remember these vibrant pictures of Christ the rest of their lives (I am the light of the world: the bread of life, the Good Shepherd, etc).

Joy has taken some of her favorite metaphors and personalized them so that we can grow closer in our relationship with Christ, to have a deep sense of the meaning God has stitched into the very fabric of our every day experiences through light, trees, water, bread.

To celebrate her book today, I am giving away 2 copies. To enter: follow me, follow her on Instagram (@joynessthebrave) and tag a friend in the comments. If you don’t win, you will want to preorder to use this inspiring book.

Happy Monday, dear friends. Hope you enjoy the podcast today.

Seeing Yourself As A Gardener

What I've learned through my very basic gardening efforts is that a garden without a plan and careful attention will probably grow something. Sometimes it will even show patches of beauty, but it's not likely to grow into the peaceful, productive place I want it to be.

If our gardens need cultivating to grow well, our children need that attention much more. Seeds of excellence and grace must be planted and tended. The weeds of selfishness and bad attitudes must be plucked. The plot must be protected so that the wild storms and prevailing winds of culture will not damage the fruit.

In addition, wise food for thought and the finest of art, music, literature, hospitality, and creativity muse be fed to fertilize the soul so that the child may grow fruitful and productive.

Children do not accidentally become mature adults of strong character, great faith, gracious relational skills, effective leadership qualities, and sharp intellects. God's design includes the presence of a hands-on gardener, a mother, to tend and cultivate their hearts, minds, souls, and relationships.

As a garden cannot flourish without a gardener, neither can a child reach his or her potential without someone committed to careful cultivation.

Seeing myself as a gardener is helpful to me as I think of my mission as a mother. After all, I want more for my children than just getting them to adulthood. I want them to thrive. I want them to grow up confident and civilized. I want them prepared to live as abundantly as possible. For that to happen, I need to do a little intentional "gardening."

This week, I'm walking my book club through what it means to cultivate the soul of our children's souls, build strong family relationships, and create an appetite for excellence. I so hope you'll join me on Life With Sally for our book club, talking and sharing ideas in the community forum, exclusive podcasts and videos, and free printables and workbooks!

Our Most Lasting Legacy Is A Sacrificial Life

God entrusted our children into our hands as one of the best works for which we answer to Him. He gave us the stewardship of shaping, investing in, and inspiring for His glory these little human beings entrusted into our hands by His love and design.

Because I had committed my whole life to Christ, one way for me to worship God was to serve these precious human beings He entrusted into my hands. God ordained family and home to have eternal value as the place our children are shaped in the transcendent image of God, through our homes.

It is as we exercise our spiritual, mental, virtuous muscles that we grow stronger as whole people. It is from our own personal growth that our children, friends, and others feed.

This is our most lasting legacy. Even as Jesus served us through His sacrificial life, so we model his love through our sacrificial life.

To read more about this, get your cope of Awaking Wonder.

Tea Time Tuesday: Honor: Giving Worth & Esteem To Others

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Twice a week, at night fall, I walked the cobbled streets of Oxford to the lovely old stone building housing a gorgeous chapel, library and rooms for hospitality. It was a center of all ages of adults who were earnest in growing deeper in their theology and love of God. I had the privilege of mentoring and encouraging two groups of women there. Sometimes, our meetings lasted for several hours. The walk there and back was about a mile and a half. On some occasions, at the end of a busy day, I had to push myself to keep going.

One dark evening, as I was walking home, I saw the figure of a tall man moving toward me down the dark street. As I got closer, my heart jumped. It was my wonderful son. “Mom, it’s me. I didn’t want you to walk home in the dark by yourself tonight. I came to walk with you, to take care of you.”

Of course, it meant the world to me. Knowing his demanding schedule and many responsibilities made his companionship even more meaningful to me. He honored me with his time, his affectionate demeanor and his thoughtfulness of me in a way that made me feel my worth to him.

My son honored me because he had learned to see me as a person of value, one who deserved his time, attention, and respect. Honor is not just a concept to be memorized, but a whole life commitment to love others unconditionally, to serve and give of ourselves to others with heartfelt generosity and consideration. Honor is expressed through manners, words of life, a total giving of oneself.

Practicing honoring one another meant that our children had a mental pattern for what it would mean to honor God with their time, their hearts, their service. A real life was a practice run for an adult life given to honoring other human beings that God had made.

Honor was one of the foundational values of our home. Honor, recognizing the worth of another human being and treating them as such, was foundational to our children learning to bow their knee before God.

Giving worth to one another and all the people who came across our path was a practice of worshiping God. If God honored the poor, the sick, the lost, the sorrowful, then when we copied Him, we were bringing His light to others in a very tangible way. We taught our children to honor one another with their words, their behavior, their whole heart. In so doing, we were laying foundations in their brains to understand what it meant to honor and obey God.

But for them to learn this concept and for it to become a practice in their lives meant that they had to receive honor and respect from us in our relationship with them. As we listened to them, honored them with our time, served them with a willing, humble heart, they learned the essence of what honor looked like in real life. It became the pattern for learning to serve God with our whole heart by choosing to give Him the respect and worth He deserved.

Interruptions Strike Again!

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of “one’s own” or real life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life…the life God is sending day by day.”

-C.S. Lewis

It seems I always have more plans, goals and to do lists than I can usually accomplish in a day or week. And instead of expecting that life will be filled with interruptions, sometimes I am still surprised. I was thinking about this great quote yesterday when it just kept snowing and snowing and snowing. I should have expected this because our lives have been stopped by snow countless times over the years.

And then this verse came to mind, “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” This day, with all the unexpected interruptions, the calamities, the illness that came upon us as we were traveling, the irritations….. This is life. And the choice that is always right, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Yesterday when so many of you friends said, “How beautiful, wonderful, delightful the snow is as a result of seeing the snow scenes from my home.” And of course you helped me to redouble my efforts to correct my attitude to breathe in peace and to seek to enjoy the beauty. Thank you. It really is beautiful.

And then I got tickled. A friend commented, “Who is going to shovel all of that snow?”

Well the servants who take care of the house of course. :)
And so, my co-servant, (Clay) and I spent time outdoors to shovel the long driveway so that we can eventually get out to go to the store. We did miss church. The snow plow for the city, had plowed a tower of 8 feet of snow against our driveway as we live at the end of the street in a cul de sac.

Yes, indeed Mr. Lewis, this is our real life. Snow, interruptions, and the grace to live into the moments.

Praying for grace for you, my friends, for whatever your life brings your way today. May you find joy lurking around the corners.

The Fundamental Mission of Motherhood

I look back to the memories of my childhood, a strong image that comes to my mind is that of my mother's loving hands. I thought they were the most beautiful in the world. In many ways, I still feel that way.

Because I had been a premature baby, I was often sick with a variety of respiratory illnesses, including chronic asthma and occasional bouts with pneumonia. My memories of these illnesses, however, are mostly pleasant, because my mother would gently stroke my brow as she talked softly or told me stories and gave me her full attention. I remember feeling very loved by such focused attention.

At other times, when I fidgeted in church services, I remember my mother's hands massaging my own, pulling and squeezing each of my fingers as she quietly played finger games with me. As a young child, sitting next to her in a big overstuffed chair, I would watch her hands as she read to me from an oversized children's book. Her fingers would point to the enticing, heart-delighting pictures and turn the pages of the large volumes as we leisurely sat together and talked and read.

And during the period when I was having a recurring nightmare—one I still remember!—I especially remember the comfort of my mother's hands when she came to my bedside. She would take my hand in hers as she knelt to pray with me, soothing away my fears and comforting me as she entreated God to take all of my bad thoughts away.

Now, many, many years removed from my mother and a thousand miles away, these memories of my mother's hands are still strong in my heart. Those hands are now old and wrinkled and aching with arthritis, yet still, as an adult, I often wish she were with me to stroke my brow in the midst of illness and exhaustion, to massage away the frustration and boredom of tedious days, to open windows to the world while reading to me in a big old chair, and to take my hand in prayer and cast away all the fears of my life. The touch of a mother's hand and the power of a mother's love indeed has carried me through many moments of my life.

As I look to the needs of children of today, I am convinced they need the same things from their mothers that I needed—and received—from mine. They need not only the gentle touch of a mother's hands, but her focus and her attention on a daily basis. They need a champion and a cheerleader, someone who has the time and energy to give encouragement along life's way and comfort in dark times. They need a directive voice to show them how to live.

These needs are not frivolous demands. They're part of the way God designed children. And meeting those needs is not an option or a sideline for mothers, but part of his design as well. Perhaps because I was fortunate enough to have a mother who met my own needs so beautifully, God has put on my heart a desire to encourage other mothers by showing them the significant role they play in the life of their precious children—and by assuring them that their deep desire to devote time and energy to their families is a vital part of God's call on their life.

For quite a few years now, my husband and I have been privileged to travel all over the United States and to other parts of the world, conducting seminars on the biblical vision of the family. Wherever we travel (usually with our children in tow), I meet mothers from so many stations of life—from stay-at-home moms and homeschoolers to professional career women, from sweet young moms pregnant with their first babies to older mothers trying to reach the hearts of their teenagers. Though the choices and circumstances of these women may be very different, their hearts and desires are basically the same—to do the best job they can at loving and nurturing their children and to bring meaning and continuity to life and relationships in their families. They all want to be the very best parents they can be. They want to do motherhood right.

And yet, increasingly, I find that these women are unsure of what it means to be a good mother. They are confused by a culture that sends them drastically mixed messages about the importance of a mother's influence and what her priorities should be. As a result, so many mothers I meet are baffled and frustrated. They don't know how to reconcile these conflicting messages with the calling of God on their hearts and lives.

What's the cure for this confusion? I believe it lies in a rediscovery of the traditional mission of motherhood, a rediscovery of what God had in mind when he first designed families. That fundamental design is still valid, although its specific shape in a given home may vary widely. And the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It's up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers' hands as instruments of his blessings.

It is my heart's desire to encourage each precious mom who reads this book by affirming the significant role a mother plays in the lives of her children. I hope to remind moms of the value God places upon their lives and to help them respond wholeheartedly to his call on their lives. As we explore together what it means to cultivate a heart for God, a heart for our children, and a heart for our home, I will attempt to create a complete picture of how we are called to live as mothers, so that the integrity of our own lives will reflect the beauty of God's original design.

I do not, however, consider myself to be a perfect mother. My aspirations and what I can idealize oftentimes far exceed my ability to live up to them in reality. Yet it is in being able to visualize the dreams of my heart and the beauty of God's design that I have found a standard of maturity to move toward.

As I reflect on my own life, I feel that I have learned so much—the hard way, by making many mistakes. Many moments of stress and struggle could have been handled so much more easily ifI had had a wiser, older woman to shed light on my stages of life.It was through writers like Edith Schaeffer that I was encouraged and helped along the way. My hope is that in some way, I might be able to provide that same encouragement and inspiration.

But I'm still learning, and the lessons God has taught me as I sought to embrace his mission for motherhood have been truly life-changing—and a source of unbelievable blessing. No matter what our culture tells us, I've discovered, and no matter what directions our own desire may push us, the only way to true joy and peace is God's way.

I hope you’ll join me for the Life With Sally Book Club where you and I will go through The Mission of Motherhood together with exclusive teachings, journals, and downloads to help you implement the ideals of the book! May your heart be warmed, encouraged, and lifted as you read this book, and may God hold you in his own capable hands as you strive to fulfill the mission of motherhood in your own life.

The Small Deeds We Do Will Be Felt For Eternity

Even under the best of circumstances, the work of subduing the domain of the home often goes unappreciated. Children are often oblivious to the fact that they have an important person who is managing so many areas of the home in order to provide them with a stable life and a warm, nurturing home environment. They rarely appreciate the work and toil and emotional drain that mothers are required to pay. Children who live in a stable, well-managed home tend to take that stability for granted.

Yet children who have such a "shepherd" in their homes to oversee, provide for, direct, and protect the life of the home will benefit profoundly. In addition, as mothers establish the work of the home with honor and dignity, our neighborhoods, towns, governments, and institutions will prosper by being filled with wholehearted, secure human beings who have been prepared to live for God's purposes.

By embracing our call to home-making, we are ensuring that these life centers are thriving and well.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood and join the book club on Life with Sally.

Discernment to Understand & See Truth & Beauty

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Discernment to See Truth and Beauty

“I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.” -Revelation 22:16:b

I am pretty predictable in some areas. Almost every morning, I reluctantly slip out of sleepiness, yet move through the motions of meandering downstairs. I turn on the tea kettle, light candles while I am waiting, choose music and turn on my little speaker, pick a quiet time book. By then, my cup of tea in my china cup is ready to be sipped slowly as I prepare my heart for the day. I ask God to help me remember the kind of woman, mama, I want to be.

Often, we live through daily rhythms and don’t realize that even common moments are shaping the impressions on our children’s hearts. Read below (and listen to Joel’s story) to be reminded how important these moments can be:

The house was cloaked in quiet. The fading shadows of night signaled the coming dawn. I gingerly tiptoed through the living room, aware that the slightest noise could awaken a sleeping child. I quickly slipped on worn, broken in shoes, quietly anticipating the beauty I would find on my private morning walk. It was wildflower season in Texas. I had never seen it so beautiful—clusters of deep-azure bluebonnets blanketing open fields, accented by scarlet splashes of Indian paintbrush. I coaxed open the storm door, managed to stifle its annoying squeak, and sneaked out the final few steps to freedom.

I had barely set foot on the front porch stairs when I heard the soft voice from behind me. "Do you mind if I go with you today, Mom?" It was my gentle-spirited, easy-going middle child, Joel. I almost never had time alone with him, so I quickly adjusted my expectations for a solitary morning walk, happy to have these few moments together with my firstborn son. "Sure, honey! You go get dressed, and I'll wait right here for you." Soon he was back and we headed out into the cool morning.

We made an unexpected memory that shaped our hearts and faith. The rest of the story on my podcast, At Home With Sally today.

Listen to Joel’s memory of this moment, 27 years later, and know that what you are investing now will last for a lifetime. Get Joel’s book: